A Random Emo Harry Potter Parody
by When The Sun Goes Down
Summary: Harry is emo, but we already knew that. Random emoness written years ago purely for randomness' sake. Flame if you want.


**A Random Emo Harry Potter Parody **

By: When The Sun Goes Down

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

Warning: swearing, random emoness, OCC, and a bit of slash and femme slash. And if you don't know what those words mean: slash- boy/boy and femme slash- girl/girl. So there. Don't say I didn't warn you. So if you don't like, don't read. But it's nothing dirty, just some pairings.

Summary: Once again I find myself on a Wednesday night in Canada writing even more random shit, while it's NOT snowing outside. Stupid global warming… And as if we already didn't know that Harry's emo. So yea…

A/N: Hey peoplez. Just more random shit from the most bored teenage girl Harry Potter fan who listens to scremo music in Canada right now. (?)Oh! And once again I'm not dissin' J.K. Rowling, I'm pointing out some things I'd like her to change about HP. Read and review plez! I don't care if you flame. And sorry if this offends anybody.

UPDATED A/N: They took this off so I put it back on just for kicks. AND I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS 14! Expect it to be crappy and dumb.

(Location: the seventh year boys' dormitory. He's just lying there on his bed alone, having emo thoughts out loud.)

"Huhhh…." Harry emo sighed. "I hate my life. Why does Voldemort always come after me? Why can't J.K. Rowling make him kill off other main characters? I don't wanna die a virgin! Doesn't she know that I'm gay? I don't wanna date Ginny. She's Ron's sister and completely in love with Hermione. I wish she didn't make Draco a Death Eater. I hate being so far away from the man I love. My life sucks doesn't it, Hedwig?" he finished. Hedwig shot him a look from the top of his bureau that said "If you hate your life so much do something about it, so I don't have to listen to your stupid emo thoughts." "You're right I should do something about it." He said. (He can speak owl?) "But what? ...I know. If my life sucks so much maybe I should just kill myself. Where's my razor blade?" he said.

So Harry killed himself by slitting his wrists. And he left a suicide note that said:

"I killed myself because I can't be with the man I love Draco Malfoy. And Voldemort was gonna kill me anyways, so I saved him the trouble. This is all J.K. Rowling's fault, if she had listened to the hardcore Potter slashers this would have never happened. So go blame her."

Everybody went to his funeral. Suddenly, Ginny randomly proclaimed her love for Hermione to everyone and killed herself because she knew they could never be together. Then Hermione killed herself cuz she loved Ginny. Ron killed himself cuz he loved them both. So, it had randomly become a suicide chain reaction and everybody killed themselves. Finally, Draco got there and killed himself too. In the end, there was a great big mass of dead bodies. Randomly, I showed up with J.K. Rowling. "See? This is all your fault for not listening to us! And not making Harry and Draco gay! And making Draco a Death Eater! Your own characters killed themselves because of it!" I shouted at her. Suddenly, Voldemort appeared and was like: "What the fuck? J.K. Rowling you bitch! I wanted to kill Harry!" he yelled. "This is what happens when you kill off people that are very close to the main character. Over time they become emo and start having emo thoughts. And then they kill themselves to be with the ones they love. So, if you hadn't killed off Cedric, Sirius and especially Dumbledore; this whole mess never would have happened! And it would have never inspired the msn icon: Emo like a Goth only much less dark and much more Harry Potter!" I shouted in her ear. (I have that icon.) "Wow. I guess I never thought of it that way." She said, and then she killed herself. "So, uh what would we do now?" Voldemort asked. "Let's draw stuff on her face!" I replied, happily. "Nicccee." He said. And then we drew stuff on her face and had one of those corny walking off into the sunset moments, never to be seen again. And it is rumored that we took over the moon. (?)


End file.
